I hate....

I hate how IF makes me feel and worse....

I hate how it makes me feel about other people



Ugh...

My stupid psychic reading came in my email just a little while ago..

Your reading reveals that your BFP news comes the month of April 2012 from a cycle that begins the end of March. The baby shows as a girl and her EDD/birth date is referenced the month of January 2013 - specific reference to the 3rd and 9th.
Jennifer
All I have to say is it better not take that long...but at least it didn't say "you will never have another kid, thanks, good bye!"

I'm crazy....but it's a secret!

I cannot even believe myself right now.  What have I done??????

Well...since I can't admit this to anyone in real life, I figured I'd admit it here.  I bought an online psychic reading.  Yes...I bought an online "conception reading" from an online psychic out of Canada.

Although I cannot believe I did this...I also cannot wait for the results.

Here is the link for future reference (you know, in case it works)

http://jennyrenny.jigsy.com/

DH has joined the crazy side as well...

Well this is a story about last cycle, but one I thought I would blog about anyway.  I have always tried not to POAS too early or frequently.  This past cycle I decided to start POAS at 11dpiui and continued on through until 14dpiui.

Then it finally happened.  I for one, dug through the trash to retrieve the pee stick from earlier in the day to double (ok, maybe a little more than double) check to make sure it was really a BFN.  DH didn't laugh at me or give me the side eye.  I think he actually wanted to make sure it was a BFN as well.  Finally, I got someone else to join in my crazy IF thought process.  Then, at 12dpiui I POAS and stared (and stared some more), then brought it downstairs (you know for some different lighting).  I asked DH to look at my pee stick because I started to see a line appear (the magical line...you know, if you stare long enough one will appear).  You had to be exactly 12 inches from the stick and hold it against a white piece of paper and use sunlight (not the normal house lighting).  Then it happened....DH saw the line too.  I was totally expecting a good dose of reality when DH would check out my BFN pee stick and say "well maybe something will be there tomorrow, but it's not there now".  But it didn't happen.  In a way it made me so happy to see how much DH wanted that line to be there too, but also sad for the same reason.

I also didn't throw away my pee sticks for four days straight and DH wasn't grossed out.  I love him!

So the time has come to blog...

I've been putting this off for some time now.  I have always thought about blogging, but I am not very good at forming nice paragraphs and using proper grammar, etc.  Plus, I keep saying, well I am not going to start blogging midcycle, because it will just be a waste since I am going to get my BFP this time around...

But here I am, CD 1 of cycle 28, TTC #2.  Got all that??  For those that don't know all the lingo, I just started the 1st day of my 28th cycle trying to conceive my second child.  I really never thought this would be my life.  I mean really...I got pregnant with Chase without trying.  Some would call it "an accident" or "unplanned" even "careless", but to me, I call it a freakin' miracle.

Anyway, this has been a crazy and emotional journey for me and DH.  As cycle 28 starts here on no more perfect of a day than father's day, I am trying not to lose hope.  I will call my RE tomorrow to schedule my u/s and IUI #3.  ughhhhh....so it begins again....

And here is a picture that just irritates me.... that is the person I have become