1st OB appt...

...into the land of the fertiles.

I had my 1st OB appt. today with the PA.  She was very nice and took her time with everything.  We talked about my desire to VBAC and some other things as well.  Overall, I was quite pleased with the appt.  DH didn't have much to say.  He sat there in the corner soaking it all in.

I scheduled the NT scan for Feb 9th (11w5d) and my next OB appt. for Feb 28th (14w3d).

10 weeks....

...and still moving along.  I feel pretty good...feeling sick less, but still tired. 

I go for my 1st appt. with my OB on Monday (10w2d).  I feel a little strange being released into the "world of the fertiles".  I am still trying to decided when to come out of the "pregnancy closet" completely.  I mean quite a few people know, but I haven't really come right out and said it at work or anything.  Maybe next week?  Or the week after??

I graduated from the RE

Is it weird that I am kind of sad?  I have been going there for over a year and now they are just sending me out into the wild!  Like I am supposed to know what I am doing?!?!?!?

Anyway, Dr. M. checked the babe and everything looked good.  I heard and saw the heartbeat today.  We were hoping to see the baby moving, but baby is either lazy or was sleeping.

I go to see the regular OB on Monday for my 1st prenatal appointment....such a strange feeling!

9 weeks...

...and 4 days.  Oooops, I missed the "turn exactly 9 weeks" mark.

Well, maybe I missed it on purpose.  I had some spotting at exactly 9 weeks.  Nothing major, but of course it concerns me.  I had a bit more today (lighter even than Saturday).  I will obviously mention this to Dr. M. when I see him tomorrow for my (hopefully) last u/s and appointment with him!

8 weeks...

oooops....A little late on the 8 weeks (since I am 8w5d today).  Oh well.  I had an appt. 4 days ago that went well.  I got to see the little baby again along with the heartbeat.  The u/s pic I got is really crappy, but the baby looked better on the screen.  Still like a little shrimp thing, but more human-like than before.

I am still feeling sick at times...nothing horrible, but still not like with ds.  I never felt a bit sick with ds...perhaps this one is a girl????

7 weeks...

So, we have reached 7 weeks today.  I have pretty much figured out that I need to eat about every 2 hours to avoid feeling sick.  It is pretty pathetic because I am quite the opposite of hungry.

We told ds about having a baby.  He doesn't want a baby brother or sister, he wants a "big kid" brother or sister.  (I don't really blame him!)

1st u/s today...

I had been so nervous leading up to this u/s.  Who am I kidding?  I am still nervous, but I do feel a LITTLE bit better.

I thought I was 6w5d today...pretty close to what Dr. M. said I am...6w4d.  This moves my EDD back one day to August 26th.

After seeing the baby on the screen and seeing it's little heartbeat, it felt pretty good.  Somehow I still seem so detached from all the emotion.  It must be that 'ol defense mechanism kicking in.

Anywho...next u/s to be at 8w1d.

Will I always feel infertile?

I think the answer is yes.

I used to think that the only cure for infertility is...well, gettting pregnant.  But, now I am pregnant and I still feel that deep down inside I relate to infertile people way more than the fertiles.  There are things that feritles will never be able to understand and/or appreciate.  As an infertile, I still feel the need to take the fertiles aside and explain that what they have is a gift that so many long for.  Obviously I don't do this...because as we have said before, you just CAN'T understand if you haven't been there yourself.

Everytime I hear someone say they "really hope for a boy", or I "really hope my baby has blue eyes"....I want to say, you don't understand the meaning of hope.  Just ask an infertile.