10 weeks....

...and still moving along.  I feel pretty good...feeling sick less, but still tired. 

I go for my 1st appt. with my OB on Monday (10w2d).  I feel a little strange being released into the "world of the fertiles".  I am still trying to decided when to come out of the "pregnancy closet" completely.  I mean quite a few people know, but I haven't really come right out and said it at work or anything.  Maybe next week?  Or the week after??

I graduated from the RE

Is it weird that I am kind of sad?  I have been going there for over a year and now they are just sending me out into the wild!  Like I am supposed to know what I am doing?!?!?!?

Anyway, Dr. M. checked the babe and everything looked good.  I heard and saw the heartbeat today.  We were hoping to see the baby moving, but baby is either lazy or was sleeping.

I go to see the regular OB on Monday for my 1st prenatal appointment....such a strange feeling!

9 weeks...

...and 4 days.  Oooops, I missed the "turn exactly 9 weeks" mark.

Well, maybe I missed it on purpose.  I had some spotting at exactly 9 weeks.  Nothing major, but of course it concerns me.  I had a bit more today (lighter even than Saturday).  I will obviously mention this to Dr. M. when I see him tomorrow for my (hopefully) last u/s and appointment with him!

8 weeks...

oooops....A little late on the 8 weeks (since I am 8w5d today).  Oh well.  I had an appt. 4 days ago that went well.  I got to see the little baby again along with the heartbeat.  The u/s pic I got is really crappy, but the baby looked better on the screen.  Still like a little shrimp thing, but more human-like than before.

I am still feeling sick at times...nothing horrible, but still not like with ds.  I never felt a bit sick with ds...perhaps this one is a girl????

7 weeks...

So, we have reached 7 weeks today.  I have pretty much figured out that I need to eat about every 2 hours to avoid feeling sick.  It is pretty pathetic because I am quite the opposite of hungry.

We told ds about having a baby.  He doesn't want a baby brother or sister, he wants a "big kid" brother or sister.  (I don't really blame him!)

1st u/s today...

I had been so nervous leading up to this u/s.  Who am I kidding?  I am still nervous, but I do feel a LITTLE bit better.

I thought I was 6w5d today...pretty close to what Dr. M. said I am...6w4d.  This moves my EDD back one day to August 26th.

After seeing the baby on the screen and seeing it's little heartbeat, it felt pretty good.  Somehow I still seem so detached from all the emotion.  It must be that 'ol defense mechanism kicking in.

Anywho...next u/s to be at 8w1d.

Will I always feel infertile?

I think the answer is yes.

I used to think that the only cure for infertility is...well, gettting pregnant.  But, now I am pregnant and I still feel that deep down inside I relate to infertile people way more than the fertiles.  There are things that feritles will never be able to understand and/or appreciate.  As an infertile, I still feel the need to take the fertiles aside and explain that what they have is a gift that so many long for.  Obviously I don't do this...because as we have said before, you just CAN'T understand if you haven't been there yourself.

Everytime I hear someone say they "really hope for a boy", or I "really hope my baby has blue eyes"....I want to say, you don't understand the meaning of hope.  Just ask an infertile.